


Shame

by teej_318



Series: Promptober 2019 [4]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Boys Hugging, But we all know Hopper's not actually dead, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mike just needs a hug, PTSD, Post Season 3, Protective Will Byers, Sad Mike Wheeler, survivor's guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 10:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20928725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teej_318/pseuds/teej_318
Summary: Will and El receive a concerning note from Mike on a day that Mike is absent from school. They have to figure out where Mike is and what the message means and why Mike hasn't been acting normal lately.





	Shame

_ Oct. 28, 1985 _

Will frowned when he realized that Mike’s bike wasn’t already locked in the bike rack outside of Hawkins High School. He glanced around for any sign of his best friend, but since he had arrived with just a few minutes to spare before first period, there were hardly any students outside, and the few Will could see were certainly not Mike. Will hurriedly placed his bike into the bike rack before rushing inside to get to his locker and to his first class of the day, which was biology. He shared the class with Dustin and Mike, and once he was inside the classroom, Will immediately walked over to Dustin. 

“Where’s Mike at?” Will asked as the bell rang, signaling the beginning of the class.

Dustin shrugged.

“I haven’t seen him yet. Maybe he’s running late? Or he’s home sick?”

“Yeah, I guess so. It’s not like him to not tell one of us if he’s not gonna be at school.”

“Maybe he’s too sick to use his walkie. I’m sure he’s fine, Will. You don’t have to worry so much.”

Will sighed and chuckled as he pulled out his notebook to start taking notes. But even as he listened to the lecture, Will’s mind couldn’t help but wander to Mike. Mike had been relatively quiet as of late, but Will assumed that was because Mike didn’t want to make things awkward around El since they had broken up over the summer. And ever since what happened to Hopper, Mike seemed to want to give El her space, rarely hanging out with the whole Party, and instead opting to just hang out if El wasn’t going to be with the group, which was rare. 

* * *

Will walked into the living room and was surprised to find El waiting for him on the couch, holding an envelope in her hand. Will frowned as he approached El, who motioned for him to sit down with her. El had a blank expression on her face, as if she was trying to decide how to feel. Wordlessly, El handed Will the envelope, which had both of their names scribbled on it in Mike’s handwriting.

“What is it?” Will asked.

“I don’t know,” El replied. “I found it in the mailbox when I checked the mail and I wanted to wait until you got home to open it.”

Will nodded and tore the envelope open. He pulled out the piece of paper that was inside and read the note out loud.

_ I’m resigning as party leader. Please don’t try to talk me out of it. It’s final. _

_ \--Mike  _

When he was finished reading the letter, Will glanced up at El, who looked just as confused as Will felt. 

“What’s he talking about?” Will asked. 

El shrugged.

“Maybe he’s mad at us or something,” she said thoughtfully. Then her eyes widened. “What if he doesn’t want to be friends with us?”

Will’s heart sank and he hurried to his bedroom to grab his walkie talkie. He ran back to the couch, turning on his walkie as he did.

“Mike! Come in, Mike!”

There was silence. Will and El looked at each other, their eyes wide with fear. Feeling desperate, Will tried again.

“Mike, please come in! Mike! It’s Will!”

Still nothing. Will groaned and switched channels.

“Dustin, do you copy?”

“Yeah, I copy. Did you guys get a note too?”

“What did it say?”

“That Mike is resigning as party leader. And that it’s final.”

“Yeah, that’s what ours said too,” said Will. “Why is doing this? Why didn’t he call a meeting?”

“No idea. Have you tried reaching him?”

“We got no answer.”

“Shit. I can try going over to his house after dinner. Are you gonna try too?”

“I’ll talk to Lucas first and then I’ll try calling over there. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Will, come in!” came Lucas’ voice before Will could radio him.

“Lucas! I just talked to Dustin.”

“Did he get one too?”

“Yeah he did. What do you think it means?”

“I don’t know and I haven’t seen Mike outside since I came home,” Lucas said. “I’m wondering if we should go over there and talk to him.”

“I’m gonna call over there and see if I can talk to him. I think it’s better if it’s just one of us. He might be upset about something. You know how he’s been lately.”

“Good idea. Max was saying it’s probably best if just one of us talks to him and tries to figure out what’s going on and then tell the rest of us. I think you’re probably the best person for that, Will.”

“Why me?” Will asked, but privately he knew the answer. 

“You’ve known him the longest,” Lucas said simply. “Let me know what you find out, Will. Over and out.” 

Will threw down the walkie talkie and hurried over to the phone with El on his heels. She looked just as worried as Will felt; Mike had never done anything like this before without talking to everyone first, so something must have happened. Will dialed the Wheeler’s number and someone answered after the second ring.

“Hello? Mike?” came Nancy’s voice. She sounded distraught.

“It’s Will, Nancy.”

“Oh, Will, thank goodness! You haven’t seen Mike, have you? He said he was feeling sick this morning and I went upstairs to check on him when I got home and his room was empty. He left a note that said he wanted to be alone for a while, but I have no idea where he could be!”

Will racked his brain for a few seconds, trying to think of where Mike would go if he wanted to be alone. Suddenly, an idea hit him.

“I think I know where he is, Nancy. I’ll go and find him and bring him back here. Something is going on with him, Nancy, and I think he just needs someone to talk to. I’ll find him, okay? Don’t worry.”

“All right, Will, be careful. Let me know when you find him.”

Will hung up the phone and turned to El. 

“I’m going to go find him,” he said.

“I’m going with you,” El said.

“No,” Will interrupted firmly. “I need you to stay here, El. Someone needs to be here to tell Mom or Jonathan what’s going on and Dustin is right: Mike is more likely to open up to me, even if you guys did date. He’s known me longer, and I can get through to him. You’ll have to trust me, okay?”

El sighed before she nodded.

“I’ll be back soon,” Will said, grabbing his coat off the coat racket and putting it on. “I’m going to find him, El, I promise.”

Once outside, Will hopped onto his bike and started pedaling as fast as he could. Soon, he had reached the road that led to the quarry and he slowed down, scanning around for any sign of Mike. Some footprints caught his attention and he followed them. Within moments, he saw Mike sitting over the edge of the road, his legs dangling far above the water. Will jumped off his bike and walked over to Mike, who didn’t acknowledge his presence.

“Mike?” Will said tentatively as he sat down next to Mike, who still didn’t respond. Up close, Will saw that Mike had tears in his eyes; it was clear Mike had been crying for quite some time. Will also noticed that Mike was shaking slightly, but that was probably because Mike wasn’t wearing a jacket, despite the late October weather necessitating one. 

“Mikey, please,” Will said in a much softer tone that usually only Mike heard. “Can you look at me, please?”

Slowly, Mike turned his head to face Will. Mike’s eyes were red and there were dried tears on his face. Will felt his heart shatter when he saw Mike’s face. Mike had never looked so hopeless in all the years Will had known him. Instinctively, Will reached over and wrapped his arm around Mike, who burst into fresh tears and collapsed his head onto Will’s shoulder.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Will demanded as he held onto Mike. “Mikey, please talk to me.”

“It’s my fault, Will. It’s all my fault.” 

“What is it, Mikey?” Will asked gently, but that only caused Mike to cry harder. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Mike sobbed.

“Mike it’s okay. I just want to know what’s going on. I’ve been worried about you all day. And you’re out here in the cold all by yourself. I’m scared that you’re in pain. Do you think you can come to my house and talk to me. Please?”

Mike’s crying subsided and he lifted his head and looked into Will’s eyes. Will smiled back gently, trying to reassure Mike, who finally nodded. 

“Okay. Then let’s get you to my house. I’ll help you stand up and you can walk with me. I’ll just push my bike so you don’t have to jog to keep up.”

Mike nodded as Will helped Mike stand up. Once they were both on their feet, Mike leaned into Will, holding onto him as though his life depended on Will. Will was taken aback by this but wrapped his right arm around Mike to hold him steady while they walked. With some difficulty, Will bent down to pick up his bike, which he guided with his left hand while holding onto Mike with his right as they began the journey back to the Byers house. 

Once they had finally reached the house, Will ditched his bike in the front yard and half carried Mike up the front porch and through the front door. Both El and Joyce leapt to their feet when they saw the boys, visible looks of relief on their faces.

“I’m gonna take him to my room,” Will said before his mother or sister could speak. “We need some time alone, I think. El, can you tell everyone where he is and that he’s okay, please?”

El nodded, hurrying to go pick up Will’s walkie talkie and start contacting the rest of The Party. Joyce, meanwhile, started to walk into the kitchen.

“I’ll make you boys some tea so you can warm up,” she said gently, giving them a warm smile.

“Thanks, Mom,” Will said, returning the smile as he walked with Mike to his bedroom. Once inside the room, Will helped Mike sit down on the bed and wrapped his blanket around Mike to warm him up. 

Joyce came in with two mugs of tea and handed them to Will before she closed the door and left. Will handed one of the mugs to Mike, who took it and drank a few sips. Will sipped some tea as well before he placed his and Mike’s mugs on his nightstand. 

“Mike, do you think we can have a talk?” Will said gently, keeping his voice as light as possible. “I just want to understand what’s going on. Would that be okay?”

Mike took a deep sigh before he nodded and turned to face Will, wrapping the blanket tightly around himself to warm up; Will thought Mike must’ve been outside for a long time for him to be that cold.

“We all got your note,” Will said, not sure if that was the proper place to start this conversation. “And everybody is pretty confused. Why do you want to resign as party leader?”

“Because I failed. I don’t feel like I should be the party leader anymore. You guys deserve someone better than me.”

“Mike, why would you think that? And what do you mean you failed? Failed at what?”

“Because of Hopper,” Mike said quietly.

Suddenly, it dawned on Will. The failure, Mike distancing himself from El and Mike being quiet even when he did hang out with members of the party: it could only mean one thing.

“Mike, are you saying that it’s your fault that Hopper died?” Will asked, hoping that he was wrong but instinctively knowing that he wasn’t. 

Slowly, Mike nodded as more tears fell down his face. Will leaned forward and grabbed onto Mike’s hands and held them gently.

“Mike, that wasn’t your fault!” Will exclaimed. “What happened to Hopper was nobody’s fault! It was just something that couldn’t be prevented. You can’t blame yourself for what happened!”

“But I can,” Mike replied in a hollow voice. “If I had acted like a party leader should, I could’ve warned Hopper. I could’ve saved him. I could’ve made you all not hate me…”

At this, Mike started to sob. Will threw his arms around Mike and pulled him in for a hug. Will held onto Mike tightly as Mike cried into his shoulder and let out all of his emotions. Mike sobbed for a good five minutes before he managed to calm down and his breathing returned to normal. Will broke the hug and wiped some tears away from Mike’s cheeks. 

“Mike, I promise you that nobody blames you for what happened to Hopper. There wasn’t anything that you or anyone else could’ve done, Mike. He was going to do what he was going to do, no matter what. It’s not your fault, Mike. I promise you.”

Mike nodded as more tears fell down his face.

“I know it’s stupid, but I keep dreaming that he’s telling me it’s all my fault. I’ve had that dream every night since it happened. And then last night he told me that you all would be better off without me.”

“Oh, Mikey,” Will said as both of them dissolved into tears and Will pulled Mike in for another hug. 

They held each other tightly as they cried. Soon, they had both calmed down and Will broke the hug, but pressed their foreheads together.

“I’m sorry for not telling you,” Mike said. “I just didn’t want you to think of me as being stupid.”

“I would never think that about you, Mikey. I promise. And you can always talk to me about anything without worrying about feeling judged.”

“Thanks, Willie,” Mike said with a weak chuckle.

“We’re best friends, Mike. Crazy together, remember?”

“Yeah. Crazy together, Will.”

“And you don’t have to step down as party leader,” Will said, lifting his head and giving Mike a smile. “We would be lost without you, Mike. You keep us all together and you make sure we’re all safe. You’re our paladin, Mikey.”

Mike nodded and gave Will another hug.

“Can I stay the night?”

“Of course you can,” Will said hurriedly. “Mom won’t mind.”

“Thank god. I really don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“You should call Nancy, though. She’s really worried about you.”

“I will.”

* * *

That night, Will crawled into his bed and made room for Mike to lay with him. They adjusted themselves in the bed and held each other closely.

“Remember, if you have any bad dreams that I’m right here with you,” Will said. “I’m not going anywhere, Mikey.”

“Thanks, Willie.”

Will smiled at Mike before he leaned forward and gave Mike a kiss on the cheek. Mike blushed and gave Will a kiss on the forehead before closing his eyes. Mike leaned into Will as he drifted off to sleep and Will held Mike tightly. Just before falling asleep, Will gave Mike a kiss on the forehead as well.

“I love you, Mike Wheeler.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this! I imagined Mike blaming himself for what happened to Hopper and with all of his guilt over how he treated everyone in season three, I think he just feels a lot of shame, even though he really shouldn't.
> 
> Come yell at/follow me on Tumblr: [@wackywriterwhowriteswhenever](http://wackywriterwhowriteswhenever.tumblr.com)
> 
> You can also follow me [on Twitter](http://twitter.com/_tj_rigg) but just know that I'm super political on there, so don't follow me if you don't like politics.


End file.
